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How many times do we stay on the sidelines of our life wishing we could make a change or go do something, but with hesitation and fears of something not working out, we simply keep everything as it’s always been.
Status quo. No drama, no upset.
When we step outside of what we know, when we take a chance, we grow!
It doesn’t always work out the way we had intended. Sometimes it’s better and sometimes it’s an experience. It’s all in the way that we look at a situation.
I took some time and painted the buffet that has been calling me back to it, asking for my creative insight and beckoning my expression of self in the process. I’ll admit, I deferred, I declined, I made excuses for why I couldn’t find the time to do this piece. In the end, it boiled down to me being really unsure about what colour to pick for it.
What if it didn’t look good? What if I spent all that time that I really don’t have on it and in the end, it just didn’t reflect its true personality (yes, antiques have character and a personality!).
If you missed my earlier post about this piece read it here!
So it sat there for weeks and weeks as I looked at it and myself and wondered if I would ever make the “right” choice of colour for it and me. I felt disappointed in myself for not trying, for being stuck in non-action (it happens to all of us by the way). I actually made up reasons why it was o.k. for me not to make an attempt at painting this. I was too busy, I had more pressing priorities, etc, etc.
I finally decided that I needed to attempt completion of this and bring my beautiful buffet back to life with colourful expression. I mean that was my intention and I chose a deep charcoal for it, thinking that it would offer distinction and presence. I painted the whole thing. I spent an entire morning on it. I really enjoyed the peace it brought me with every stroke and the creativity that was elicited in my own mind and being.
BUT….after I finished it??
The colour just didn’t suit this grand buffet. Was it the wrong choice? Not really. The process had gifted me with so much more than simply a trial and error attempt at painting this piece. It gave me time, space and grace to express myself, to imagine, to better connect with a creative process.
Every experience, every choice, leads us down a path of some sort of self-discovery. It’s up to us to decide if it’s the right fit (and sometimes it is for a time) or if we need to make some changes.
I repainted that buffet in a colour that speaks to me. A deep, yet vibrant representation of depth and character. If a colour could speak, this one would say, “I have wisdom and presence, yet I am elegant and peaceful.” I also added a touch of uniqueness and “pzaz” that better reflects myself in this piece.
I didn’t make the “wrong choice.” I had an experience.
Remember that the next time you want to make a choice or a change. It all leads you to just where you were meant to be in the end!
Stay tuned for my grand reveal of this beautiful piece (curious about the paints I use? Check them out HERE!)
Our counsellors are ready to listen, to journey with you as you navigate your personal transformation.
What do we do when we find an old piece of furniture in need of a paint job? Many of us will walk right by it. Some of us will stop, pick it up and evaluate it to see if it has potential. And some of us will take the time to sand it down, paint it and bring it back to life.
Are we not the same?
How many of us walk past ourselves, thinking we need to change and condemn who we are without taking the time to see beyond the surface?
I speak a great deal about authenticity in my work and I try to live according to my personal values and truths. Sometimes, it isn’t as easy to do as we would like it to be and sometimes the reality of a personal or self transformation that did not occur can later stare us down as a harsh reality and a call to personal transformation.
I had an experience recently where all of this just made more sense. I stepped out of who I knew myself traditionally to be and embarked on a new experience in Florida, taking a furniture refurbishing course. It created a lot of opportunity for self reflection as I challenged my personal beliefs in my ability to learn something so opposite to what I do on a daily basis. As I was sanding, priming and painting these ancient pieces of furniture, I realized the power in doing the work to see what lies beneath its surface, taking stock and preparing it for a renewal. It was a mindset shift in accepting other versions of these otherwise run-down cabinets and tables, and it prompted me to appreciate and embrace the metaphor for my own refurbishment.
But before we begin this process, I learned that we need to take stock of all that we are before we try to change ourselves. When we look at ourselves in the mirror, we are often convinced that there isn’t any hope for change, and we reject what we see as our representation of the lives we have created. Sometimes it’s as though there are glimmers of the past looking at us with a knowing of where we have been and a questioning of who we have yet to become.
Much like those antiques that are being refurbished, we have an opportunity to embrace our past as part of what makes us unique, part of what defines every edge of our being. It is not a brokenness, but rather a representation of depth and character. It’s all in how we look at it.
It is much more liberating and gratifying when we allow ourselves to evolve and express who we are becoming rather than living in an image of our past.
During this season of self-reflection, I have spent my days watching old pieces of antique furniture transform into beautiful depictions of art. As I now sand down my own pieces of furniture on my porch and reflect on the past, I ask myself often how it is that we view the markings of an antique as a threshold to a cherished era, or its flawed surfaces as aged beauty? Often when we scrutinize our own past or the weathered lines of our aging visage, it is met instead with criticism and condemnation.